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disappear.
May. 10th, 2012 | 03:57 am
mood: 
sad
honestly, I do get stress up and frustrated about finding a job. Thinking about how my friends got into poly schools and some are waiting to get into private schools while I'm here struggling to get a fucking job. I wish I had take up some skills in media so it will be easier for me to find a job in media industry because I'm more interested in that than design. But sadly, I don't have any skills to that and that makes me feel so hopeless.
you know you have those nights where you are alone and suddenly things running through your head and you suddenly feel so alone? I've been having that feeling this past few nights and that I've been thinking about disappearing from everyone. I was so close to deactivate my facebook a few minutes ago and there were times where I wanted to stop my social network life.
you know you have those nights where you are alone and suddenly things running through your head and you suddenly feel so alone? I've been having that feeling this past few nights and that I've been thinking about disappearing from everyone. I was so close to deactivate my facebook a few minutes ago and there were times where I wanted to stop my social network life.
I just don't see what purpose I have anymore on it and I get tired of people. People who I don't even know if we are still friends or not. People who say that there'll be there for me but in the end not. People who makes me lost my trust with them. Rather than wasting my time scrolling and seeing stuffs that just makes me unhappy, it will be way better that I focus in finding a job that I've been dreaming of having and I just want to start a new life.
But, time will tell. I do have second thoughts about stopping my social network. Like can I really live without it? I'm confident that I can live without facebook but twitter I'm not quite sure, hah. People know me as the cheerful girl because I hardly show them my unhappy side. I rather not tell and just let my feelings out here. I don't even know if there are people who bother to read this up lol.
I don't know why I've been thinking like this the past few months. I know its gonna be hard but baby steps. I have to think maturely. I have to start being independent.
Some things are gonna change, I just have a feeling. Those friends who just come and go, sorry to say I'm just gonna get rid off you in my life. Is just wasting my time thinking about your feelings when you don't even bother about mine in the first place. But I'm still sticking to my words when I said I'll be there for you whenever you need me. but when I think back in the first place, you guys weren't there when I needed you or even understand how I feel. So, I can't say anything about that now. A true friend does not need me to tell if I'm having problems or unhappy about stuffs. they'll just know and I do have people in mind right now that I can think of as my true friends.
Trust me, I can only think of three people right now. It really saddens me whenever I think of this friendship stuffs. The next thing you know, the person whom you thought was your bestest or closest friend can turn out to be a stranger. Sad much? I've always keep in mind that its not how long you know that person, its how well you know and understand that person.
but anyways, I won't be gone from here though don't worry. If you're smart enough, you'll just find me here because I'll definitely let out my stuffs here. I feel so good letting out everything off my chest that's been bothering for quite sometime.
my post looks kinda long and draggy, meh.
I'll end it here. till the next post, toodles (:
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another army man
May. 9th, 2012 | 03:07 am
mood: 
thoughtful
do mind my handwriting lol
surprisingly you texted me this picture. I was shocked and at the same time I was laughing my ass off! but on a second thought, it was kinda sweet that you still keep it. those were the good old days, huh? (:
honestly, I wanted to text you to wish a farewell but I got your text first and it was nice that you actually told me that you were going to serve ns in a few hours time. I've always thought you and I couldn't be friends anymore but I guess we still can be... (although I think its still awkward since its been so long since we last talked ha ha ha)
At times I do miss him because probably his my last bf, I guess? Unfortunately, things aren't working out between us. I know he has move on and I'm happy for him for having such a sweet girlfriend now and finally someone who loves him back.
All I wanna say is that take care of yourself while you're in there & be strong! Like you said, probably we should meet up one day. I'll see you around man.
Once again, it was nice hearing from you after so long (:
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officially a man?
May. 7th, 2012 | 12:34 am
mood: 
happy
Hi D,
so here's a post for you before you officially become a man! hahahaha hope you are prepare for it and endure every seconds when you're inside. Two years in the army...... I'm sure that two years will pass by very fast without you realizing. so, endure & jia yo okay! Let's meet up whenever you are not tired and book out from camp, alright?
And remember what I said when we were whatsapp-ing. But, touchwood and insyallah nothing will happen to you okay! It's so good to hear that you've been thinking about your future and I can see you are starting to think maturely and I think your parents are already proud of you, man. still can't believe you're actually going to serve national service in a few hours time! Man, how time flies so fast and all of us are growing up to be a man. (for you, of course hahahaha)
remember this? I've known you since we were in sec two (or sec one? I can't even remember, heh) but this was the first time ever that we actually hang out and its only the two of us! hahahaha at first I thought it was weird but look at us now. we grew closer (:
oh and please don't ever shave your eyebrows again, please. slap your forehead if you do it, ish.
oh and he was the first person ever to actually fulfilled my wish which was to be pushed in a cart at IKEA, lol.
well, at least we had fun! or I had fun hahahaha love it!
and lastly,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M SORRY I JUST HAD TO SHOW IT HERE.
okay take good care while you're inside and see you when I see you!
<3
